Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.