If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My liver just had a heart attack.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
