His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE