It's Friday. Sex?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
