sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
