He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
