Please, let me fuck your mom
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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