$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
