And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
