There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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