I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
