how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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