we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
