I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
