Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize