Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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