It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
