If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
