Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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