have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
