I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
