Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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