Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
