I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
