Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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