let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
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I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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