i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
