Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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