Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize