I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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