did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he just fucked me for my cheese..
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
