Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
