If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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