just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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