So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
