Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
