it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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