We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
