Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
