Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
