We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize