Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
