So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
