YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Randomize