worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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