i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
