I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
