I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
