well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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