Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
