the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
