I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize