well I can't set my house on fire every night
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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