Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
