No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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