I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
