Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
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