4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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