I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
