Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize