i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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