Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
