last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
