no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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