Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp

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  (650): my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp http://tfl.nu/twts
  Replies (13) Good night (3010) Bad night (682)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.

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  (248): i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots. http://tfl.nu/9g8z
  Replies (13) Good night (6435) Bad night (1024)
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  (876): View more from Jamaica

  After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone

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  (876): After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone http://tfl.nu/ammv
  Replies (32) Good night (8604) Bad night (1391)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.

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  (618): This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape. http://tfl.nu/eyxg
  Replies (14) Good night (1750) Bad night (4745)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.

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  (954): Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it. http://tfl.nu/slzd
  Replies (19) Good night (1685) Bad night (4039)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.

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  (303): Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good. http://tfl.nu/f0em
  Replies (7) Good night (3037) Bad night (1165)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner

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  (757): The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner http://tfl.nu/cdsa
  Replies (10) Good night (2250) Bad night (939)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.

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  (503): Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals. http://tfl.nu/1rao
  Replies (6) Good night (928) Bad night (504)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.

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  (905): I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time. http://tfl.nu/shdn
  Replies (13) Good night (629) Bad night (1743)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing

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  (403): the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing http://tfl.nu/cpea
  Replies (9) Good night (1547) Bad night (419)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.

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  (778): Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had. http://tfl.nu/0gqr
  Replies (16) Good night (360) Bad night (889)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.

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  (813): The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room. http://tfl.nu/fw34
  Replies (19) Good night (448) Bad night (935)
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  (852): View more from

  Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.

  (852): View more from

  Never judge a man by his mustache.

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  (852): Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne. (852): Never judge a man by his mustache. http://tfl.nu/2yr6
  Replies (2) Good night (1078) Bad night (419)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again

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  (506): I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again http://tfl.nu/cox5
  Replies (1) Good night (257) Bad night (586)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am

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  (765): i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am http://tfl.nu/zc5y
  Replies (3) Good night (353) Bad night (312)

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