Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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