i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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