i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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