bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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