if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i now understand why vodka
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
