no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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