Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
