C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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